The Holy Church of Bezos

Are you feeling lost?  Unmotivated? Worried about the future?  Millions of our members were once like you:  Confused about how the world could contain so much hardship and evil when so many pray to a deity who professes love and compassion.  Well, you've come to the right place.

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The Holy Church of Bezos believes that all of the scriptures and holy works of the past were divine revalations of the God(s) who were to come: Biollionaires.  Yes, the same men (and a couple women) who are able to start and stop wars at will, control whether or not the economy rises or falls, controls the price of food and energy...these are the true Gods that those lost shepherds were scribbling about the entire time. 

 

Our church boasts a membership of millions who have seen the light and recognize that true enlitenment comes between the hours of 9AM and 5PM Monday through Friday, that "heaven" exists in an air conditioned cubicle, and that Paid Time Off is the work of the devil.

 

Curious?  Come join us at our next mass. All are welcome (terms and conditions apply).